It breaks my heart. What more could a young guy ask for? Sports, fame, glory, money, girls. That’s it. That’s all you need. You got it all. You won. Now go enjoy your life. You’re living the dream of all young guys that I know. I remember when I was a young guy, I cared about two things: sports and girls. In that order. I got up every day thinking of where I’d play ball. What game I’d play? Who was around? I couldn’t wait to get to the park. Plenty of days we just played on the streets. You remember those days. But what makes a kid like Hernandez choose the gangsta life over playing football and $40,000,000?  Not for the money that’s for sure. Was he going to make 40 million being a thug?  It had to be something in his brain that gave him more pleasure than football and money. I’ve thought about it a lot. Not because I cared that the Pats inexplicably lost a player with rare talent. More importantly, I want to understand the psyche of a twenty year old in today’s society. I want to know for a very personal reason. Maybe, just maybe, I could understand why my son did the self- destructive things he did. A kid blessed with looks, personality, opportunity, athleticism, doting parents. And I’ve see too often this tragedy repeated time and again. Just the other day, I was watching the news, and barely recognized the picture of a kid who was charged with abusing his girlfriend’s dog, kicking and throwing it visciously by the neck. I knew him about 10 years ago, tall and handsome, a great baseball player, who had just lost a baseball scholarship to a big Florida school due to drugs. Today, 10 years later on TV, his picture was grotesquely bloated, presumably the result of years of putting poison in his body. Like my son, a good kid who became barely recognizable. After years of tears and thinking about it, I’ve come to three sad conclusions: 1) today there are too many easy choices, too many easy distractions, too many hi-tech playthings. At the touch of your fingertips there are easy paths to satisfaction, pleasure, drugs, phony friends. The simple life of sports and girls is gone. 2) the hardworking immigrant generation is dying off. They were our role models. We grew up watching our dads and moms go out to work every day at 7am and come home at 6pm. That learned work ethic helped us succeed in life. We worked hard. We had goals.  Good jobs and homes. Unfortunately, our generation made a huge mistake.  We gave our kids more material things, but not a better life. We’ve raised a generation with a softer work ethic. America has grown weaker. 3) finally, this weakness is being exploited by drug dealers and terrorist nations whose strategy is to destroy us from the inside with drugs. 9/11 killed about 3,000 people. That was a diversion. Drugs kill far more every year. America’s real threat comes from the drugs that these murderers smuggle into our country, corrupting far too many of our beautiful kids. They’re killing the hearts and souls of our best and brightest.
And it breaks my heart.

Yeah, let’s headline and go after Tom Brady for air in a football. Let’s back page the Jets’s Sheldon Richardson’s arrest for ALLEGEDLY driving 143 miles per hour WITH A TWELVE YEAR OLD KID AND A GUN IN THE CAR. And this AFTER he was suspended four games for a drug violation. Yeah, the same four games that Tom Brady got. Yeah, let’s go after and front page Tom Brady and his 15 year unblemished career both on and off the field.
And another thing, no one gets my phone unless I’m charged with murder. No one gives up a personal phone to anyone. You know ‘personal’, meaning personal, sensitive information and pictures included amongst other relevant and mundane information. And you’re going to give it to the NFL!!?? The leak proof NFL!? Imagine being married to Gisele who the websites and paparazzi drool over for any private information. And you’re going to give up your phone?! To the NFL?!!!!! I don’t think so.

Here we go again. We should be used to it. Again we have to go into our cocoon of fan support, shielding us from the national criticism. But it is really annoying because it did take away from our enjoyment of the pre Super Bowl hype. And this year of course, it robbed us of the fun of wallowing in victory. Even though I’m a Pats fan, I still think I’m not a Pats apologist. Just because I think that we get unfairly scrutinized because we win more than any team, that doesn’t make me a Pats apologist. Unfortunately, everyone that defends the Pats or disagrees with the national opinion is labeled a Pats apologist. Why? Can’t we disagree with the national opinion, especially the national media and players and ex players from other teams? Have the above ever been wrong about anything? Maybe I should ask if they’ve ever been right about anything. Are the above lilly white and without sin? What a joke it is to hear moralizing from Charles Haley and Jerry “I used stickem” Rice. Please, no criticism from the likes of them. But I would respect criticism from someone who looks at both sides of an issue. I thought I’d get it from the usually well regarded “Outside the Lines”. But on Sunday’s program, three talking heads (one of whom I recognized as Howard Bryant ), all had the same opinion. I thought I was watching Fox News. I only watched the show because I thought finally I would get an intelligent, “fair and balanced” analysis of the “deflategate” controversy. But nooo, three guys with the same opinion. No one allowed for the possibility that Tom Brady didn’t do anything wrong. No one questioned the Ted Wells report. It should have been easy to come up with something that you felt was amiss. But these guys had nothing but support for the NFL party line. Disappointing. Therefore, I’ve had to come up with my own list of questions that occurred to me after spending only about an hour or two since the “Spygate”, err,”Deflategate” story came out. Seriously, only an hour or two. I haven’t read the Ted Wells report. I have a job and a life. My opinions and list of questions evolved from reading the newspaper and watching a few sports programs on ESPN and the local Felger and Mazz show. Okay, I gotta digress for a moment. ALL year Mike Felger has excoriated Roger Goodell, in effect calling him every name in the book: incompetent, clueless, untruthful, etc. You get the picture. Felger and Mazz also were all over the NFL league office for cover up and/or sloppy investigations of a few major problems the league had this year (Rice, Peterson, Hardy ). The initial investigation and discipline of Ray Rice was especially mishandled. Felger and Mazz thought Goodell was so incompetent and clueless that he should resign or be fired. By all accounts, it’s been a terrible year for Goodell. So why do Felger and Mazz and the national media and all the Pats critics think this nincompoop now can be trusted to supervise a fair and balanced investigation, and if necessary dole out fair discipline? Hey, when I digress I really digress.

Okay, here’s my list of questions:
1) Is it true that only four Colts footballs were tested as opposed to twelve Pats footballs?
2) Why only four?
3) Is it true that three of the four tested Colts footballs were underinflated?
4) Were the Colts investigated for using three underinflated footballs?
5) If not, why not?
6) Did the Wells report comment on these facts and inconsistent treatment of footballs?
7) If not, why not?
8) You indicated that the Pats were not cooperating because they didn’t allow access to their employee, McNally. Is it true that McNally was made available for four interviews?
9) You indicated that Tom Brady was not cooperating. Is it true that he was interviewed for about 4-5 hours?
10) Is it possible that your investigators could have waited to interview McNally and Tom Brady until they had more information, and thus, would have been more prepared so they wouldn’t need five interviews with McNally and multiple interviews with Tom Brady?
11) If in your opinion your investigators could not wait for more information, could you have at least labeled the conduct of the Pats and Tom Brady by using qualifying language rather than labeling their conduct as “not cooperating”.
12) Given the above, do you understand that by using the language as “not cooperating”, you appear to be biased in favor of the NFL?
13) Do you understand that in 243 pages you did not appear to be considering both sides of the argument?
14) You concluded based on the circumstancial evidence that Tom Brady was”generally aware” that the footballs were tampered with. What was the “legal” standard you used to make that conclusion? Was it “more probable than not”?
15) If so, what specific evidence led you to that conclusion?
16) Do you understand that the one sidedness of your report belies your reputation as an esteemed attorney and makes you appear as a well paid flunky for the NFL?
17) What was your total fee and costs for your work for the NFL?

** I may have more questions and comments as I think about this and as I get responses from friends and Pats Nation.
Stay tuned.

Postscript:
Watched CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley, whom I like. I thought I’d get important news of the day. Guess what story led the newscast? Oh yeah, Deflategate and Tom Brady. WHAT!!!! CBS News decided it was the most important story of the day. Next story was about our courageous veterans getting screwed by drug distributors.100s of millions of dollars wasted, and more importantly, vets not getting the medication they need. Then a story about ISIS. No big deal. Not as important as footballs in a 45 to 7 game. Talk about an overinflated evaluation of the relative importance of a story. Imagine the round table discussion by the geniuses at CBS News. What, was Brian Williams pitching the story trying to get hired by another Network to resurrect his career?

As the Pats make big decisions this off season, I wrestle with my own huge decision. Who’s my favorite Patriot of ALL time. Before this year the decision was easy. Tom Brady was considered by almost everyone to be one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and by me, the BEST quarterback of all time. He had the talent, the work ethic, the looks, the personality, the articulateness, the super model, and the jour ne se qua to satisfy my strict criteria to be my favorite Patriot. And then this year happened. Another Super Bowl. The fourth for Tom. But  importantly, the first for Gronk. How can Gronk after only one Super Bowl win overtake Tom as my favorite Patriot of all time? Not easy, but if anyone can do it, it’s that big fun loving future hall of fame  goofball. When I think of Gronk, I smile. His antics are hysterical. He personifies the “Manny being Manny ” phrase that was created for Manny Ramirez but really doesn’t apply to a player that had a mean side, an angry side. Gronk does things that are crazy but fun, inexplicable but appropriate for a young guy with a hard job that he makes look easy and like fun. The phrase should be changed forever to “Gronk being Gronk”. It applies for sure to any player that plays at the highest level but does goofy things and doesn’t take himself all that seriously. A guy you’d want to hang out with when you’re going to a club to drink, dance and pickup girls. Yeah, Gronk’s the guy to hang out with. But back to my decision. Both Tom and Gronk are Hall of Fame worthy already. Both won a huge historical Super Bowl this year. Mmmmmmm. Tough one. But let’s face it, as unique as Gronk is, he just can’t replace Tom. My daughter would laugh out loud at this premise. She knows that Tom will always be the one and only for her daddy. Not that there’s anything wrong with it.

Your Constitution requires separation of church and state. No religious views should be indicated in laws or influence civil law. It’s a simple concept but apparently very difficult to implement in society. People have a right to believe in whatever religion, but their beliefs cannot by American law be forced on any individual. Indiana and Arkansas are starting to understand that this is 2015, not 1950. People still harbor prejudices that they had in 1950, but they are no longer supported by 2015 laws. We Americans think we live in the greatest country in the world. We do, for one unique reason: FREEDOM. You can define freedom in different ways, but you know it when you see it. Equal rights not just for a privileged few, but for ALL. Gays, women, any minority, have the same rights as you and I. So if you are still harboring any prejudices from the1950s, keep it to yourself. American laws don’t support you anymore. Don’t embarrass your fellow Americans.

1. Charles Haley. Is this the guy that won 5 Super Bowl rings? All Pro a few times. Hall of Famer. Does that give him the right to be the moral judge of the Pats actions? Well, kinda. But only if his off field behavior was not abhorrent. How do you describe or define the behavior of a guy that takes out his penis and strokes it in the locker room and team meetings? What word would you use. “Abhorrent” sounds right. “Despicable” is pretty good. That’s the behavior attributed to Haley by writer Jeff Pearlman in his book “Boys Will be Boys”.And you would never ever allow that guy to be the moral arbiter of your actions. Anyone that behaves like that should keep his mouth shut whenever morality or ethical issues are discussed. Another word to describe a guy like that who would open his mouth on those issues is “clueless”. Which is a perfect lead in to:
2. Jerry Rice. I would love to interview Rice and ask him one question, only one, I promise. Even crotch grabbing Marshon Lynch might answer only one question if you guaranteed that you would only ask one.
“Jerry, do you consider your cheating with illegal stickum to catch the ball better, to get a competitive advantage, to help you win multiple Super Bowl championships and help you get in the HOF, do you consider your cheating different from what you accuse the Pats of doing?” There. That’s only one rather long question. Can we get one of the many hack sports guys and gals to ask Judge Jerry Rice that?

Seriously you two mopes, didn’t you ever think that we would be all over your hypocrisy? This is New England baby! We’re smaht!! Not like Fredo. I mean really smart. And didn’t you ever think that we would now consider the great Joe Montana’s 4 Super Bowl rings “tainted” because of his cheating dog teammate?

Charles Haley and Jerry Rice. One immoral crude jerk. One dope. Both CLUELESS.

The legacy of Tom Brady was on the line. 4th quarter. Down by 10.
A season of turmoil for the NFL spilled over onto the Patriots, enveloping their dour genius  coach, and our Tom Brady. Our Tom?!!! Sure, I can understand Bill Belichick getting chastised. The NFL doesn’t like Bill. He’s got a lousy personality. He doesn’t give good interviews. And worst of all, he wins too much, ruining the NFL’s annual quest for parity. But why go after our Tom, one of the nicest, accommodating players in the league, a real gentleman who doesn’t grab his crotch every time he throws a touchdown pass? But the NFL did, embarrassing him, tainting his image. So it came down in the 4th quarter to Tom Brady against the vaunted Seahawks defense, the #1 defense in the NFL, the LEGION OF BOOM. He had to prove again that as a field general in crunch time there is no one better in football history. Not Joe Montana, not John Elway, not Bart Starr, not Johnnie U. No one had ever led his team back, down by10 points in the 4th quarter. And against a defense that had been mentioned in the same breath as the 86 Bears and the Steel Curtain. I thought, maybe we’re just not good enough. At my age, after so many Boston championships, real life just goes on. It’s only a game, a sport to make you smile….or not. But here come the Pats…..Gronk, Edelman, Amendola, Vereen, Lafell, all catching passes from Tom. All paying a severe price with their bodies, the Seahawks living up to their reputation, viciously hitting every one of our receivers. Gang tackling, trying to cause a fumble or at least a dropped ball. But the boys were in it to win it. And when you’re trying to win a championship, it takes blood and bruises. The Pats would not give in. No fumbles, no drops. After Tom missed an open Edelman, he hit Amendola on the next play. 24-21. Now we’re only down by 3. We needed the ball back one more time to give Tom one last chance. And he only needed that one chance. All the victories , the great successes, the excruciatingly close losses, and he still had to do it one more time…..for history, for his legacy. He attempted 8 passes on that final drive, a drive for the ages. He completed 8 passes, his final pass to the courageous Edelman. 28-24 Pats. YES!!! Unbelievable!! Fan delirium!! After 10 years, the cruel football gods that bestowed their magic on Tyree and Manningham, that pulled Eli away from a sure sack, that snatched the ball from the hands of Assante and Wes, these gods would finally make amends. They would again guide Adam’s kick through the wind and snow. They would confirm Tom’s place in the pantheon of Quarterbacks. These cruel gods’ hands were all over the last few minutes of the game, bestowing and taking. And they finally decided that 10 years was long enough for the greatest quarterback in history to wait to become a legend. Oh, they had some fun with a bouncing ball miracle catch, and by freezing the brain of a coach. But they made the final gesture to a rookie Pats corner, forever etching him in the minds of all fans all over the league. David Tyree, Mario Manningham, Assante Samuel, Wes Welker…..and Malcolm Butler. And with the help of the gods, Tom Brady has cemented his place on the Mount Rushmore of Boston sports. And his name will be forever mentioned in the national conversation of the greatest quarterback of all time.
It’s Tom Brady.

Thanks NFL. Thanks ESPN. Thanks ex players who lost to Pats in big games. Thanks Felger and Mazz. This was the worst sports week I’ve had in a long time. I was completely discombobulated in my Zumba class. When the instructor went left, I went right. I just couldn’t concentrate. I kept thinking of deflated footballs. I kept thinking of the fun we could be having this week anticipating a great Super Bowl. But nooo, the Pats again are victims of their success. With too many victories, too many AFC championship games, too many trips to the Super Bowl, comes scrutiny given to no other teams. Were the Colts investigated for tanking the season to draft Andrew Luck? Were they investigated for piping in noise when other teams are on offense? Would that be considered a “competitive advantage”?
Was Aaron Rodgers investigated for over inflating footballs to his liking? He admitted it! Phil Simms reported it on national television! But no investigation. No criticism. Why? Because he inflated footballs BEFORE the refs checked them? If an illegal ball gets past the refs, so be it. Apparently it’s okay to cheat if you do it before the refs check the balls. With all the nefarious characters playing in the league, coaching, owning teams, the media is all over the Pats for deflated footballs!!!? What?!! Didn’t the Pats outscore the Colts 28 to nothing in the second half of the game with footballs okayed by the refs? The NFL should have immediately fined the Pats $25,000 and moved on to the Big Game. No big story. Move on. Nothing to see here. ESPN should have moved on to their usual big stories like Bret Favre’s next comeback or Peyton Manning’s regular season greatness. And worst of all, local sports guys like Felger and Mazz really annoyed me. Don’t get me wrong, I usually enjoy Felger and Mazz. They’re the best. But after the Pats demolished the Colts on Sunday, I expected a fun week listening to their game analysis. But Monday they talked 4 hours about deflated footballs. Tuesday the same. Wednesday again. By Thursday I gave up. Speaking for Pats fans , and I am, their show was not only aggravating and frustrating, but worst of all, boooring. So, only one thing to do. And I urge ALL Pats fans to also do it. I’m going on “radio silence” until the Super Bowl. I’m not going to listen to any local or national sports news. Fuckem. I’ll be ready on Super Sunday night at 640pm. Let’s hope the Pats are ready too. Let’s hope the Pats are as pissed off as we are. Let’s hope Bill channels the anger that he displayed at his last press conference. Make a great game plan Bill. Show the Pats Braveheart exhorting his fellow Scots: Would they rather die in their beds many years from now or kick the shit out of the Seahawks with properly inflated footballs?!!!?

Pats Ravens. Whew. Torture. Pats had to beat a tough, well coached team AND the refs. What a brutally called game. How do you overturn a big third down catch by Amendola without conclusive evidence? You can’t. Or you shouldn’t. But after video review, the refs did. When the announcers think it was a catch and think the call should stand, then at worst, the video is inconclusive. The call on the field should stand.

Then fans and tv viewers were subjected to the Revis pass interference call on Steve Smith. Pass interference should only be called when it’s obvious, when everyone in the stadium sees it. Like Browner’s penalty. Now that was pass interference. When it’s obvious to the millions of TV viewers, call it. But when you have controversy about the call, when it’s not obvious, when you have to review the play in slow motion and say “see that incidental contact?”, then it’s a bad call. When a respected analyst like Chris Collinsworth has to support the call by saying that Revis was forcing Smith out of bounds (WHAT!!!), or possibly “arm barring” him, then DON’T CALL IT for God’s sake.

Then we come to Gronk. First drive of the second half. Big third down pass to Gronk. Apparently, when it comes to Gronk, it’s okay to tackle him while the ball is in the air. No pass interference. Move on. Nothing to see here. Refs blow another call, or should I say non-call.

Finally, the holding call on Revis, again on Steve Smith. Yeah I could see it. We all saw it. I suppose you could call that. But you can’t call EVERY hold on or near the line of scrimmage, especially one that had nothing to do with the play. By that time, Flacco was running for his life, getting strip sacked. A spactacular play by Jamie Collins, who recovered on the Ravens’ 3 yard line. The place went nuts. But negated by the despicable yellow flag. I hate when a spectacular play is negated by a ticky tack penalty. Don’t you?
Every time that happens I think of the great college player, Raghib “Rocket” Ismail. Notre Dame was competing for the national championship, trailing late in the game against Colorado, when the Rocket fields a punt and takes off. Last chance for the Irish to win the national championship. Seventy spectacular yards later he’s in the end zone. There’s no other play as electric as a punt return for a touchdown. Add the clutch circumstances, and it was a play you’ll remember forever. ESPN would mention it in it’s top ten college plays of all time. But, “whoa nelly”, hold on, yellow flag. Ticky tack illegal block. Instead of a great memory, obscurity.
That’s how I feel about the Collins strip sack and recovery. Spectacular play relegated to obscurity because of the insidious yellow flag.

Postscript#1. Watching Broncos/Colts. Winner plays us next week for the Super Bowl. Colts punt returner hit hard, hits ground, fumbles. Should be down by contact. Naturally, ref calls it a fumble, good for the home team. Play reviewed. CBS Network goes to their ref “expert”, nitwit Mike Carey. Of course he supports the refs call on the field. And of course, both the call on the field, and “expert ” Mike Carey, are wrong. Don’t even bother listening to the CBS analyst, Phil Simms. He rarely says anything profound, and absolutely NEVER contradicts the refs. Do these guys really get paid for this?
Postscript#2
Dez Bryant spectacular catch reversed. Did he make a football move trying to extend to the end zone? Were his fingers under the ball as he hit the ground? I don’t think you can answer those questions CONCLUSIVELY, a requirement to overturn a call on the field. When he bobbled ball it never hit the ground. God forbid refs acquiesce to a spectacular play. They, the league, has to always be right. Flunky announcers have to support calls. Nitwit ref experts hired by Networks have to corroborate calls. The result is that we’ll forget the spectacular play by Dez, just like we forgot the play by the Rocket, because, well, they never happened. Did they?

Heavy times in America. What’s going on here? Are these modern day lynchings? Are they? Do we need to look in the mirror? Did the cops make mistakes or are procedures inadequate? The NYC police commissioner will spend millions to train 22,000 cops but won’t say cop made mistake. He won’t say procedures not followed. He won’t say procedures inadequate. He won’t apologize. Ferguson cop’s conscious is clear. He would do it again if in the same situation.
I have a friend who castigated me for my questions, saying I’ve never been in “combat”. Split second life threatening decisions have to be made. I’ll never know what it feels like. The stress, the fear. True. I doubt I’d have the courage to face that every day. I’ll never know. But have we come to this? Comparing Ferguson, Missouri to Baghdad, Iraq? One of our American cities to a war zone? These are questions Americans need to ask and answer.